By: Ryan

Hey guys first things first... THIS IS MY SWAMP! Welcome back to another newspaper article. This weeks article is going to be about Shrek. For those of you that may not know who or what a Shrek is, Shrek is a character from the movie Shrek. If you still do not know who Shrek is, maybe you should go home and ask your parents to watch the movie. Another way you might have heard about Shrek is through a video on YouTube. Anyway as you might have already seen, Shrek is an ogre. In the movie a friend of Shrek's is a donkey. That donkey's name is Shrek. Now this Shrek character lives in a swamp. He survives by eating the things within his region. For example, Shrek eats snails, frogs, eyes, his earwax, and many other products within his swampy region. Now listen closely for the very intense secret I am about to tell you, I have a method of catching your very own, Shrek. Some supplies you will need: A shovel, a pail bucket, and some of Dylan's very fancy dirt. The first step you will need to achieve is making a hole, now please don't go around making holes without permission please. If you do, you can't say I didn't warn you. The hole must be 2 ft. wide, 2 ft. long, and 1.5 ft. deep. You must then fill that hole with Dylan's dirt. The reason you fill it with dirt is because it is a known fact that ogres like Shrek are deeply fascinated with Dirt like Dylan's. Once you put that bad boy in the ground you must immediately leave the area. If you come back within 10-15 minutes you will notice something very large on your dirt. This is where your pail bucket comes in handy. Once you get within arm's reach you must very swiftly scoop the large creature into the bucket, leaving you with a captured Shrek. Your welcome :) Well, now that you have realized that all of the above instructions are useless and a waste of time, you can continue your grand adventure on exploring the word of newspaper. Thank you for reading my article, and as usual, THIS IS MY SWAMP!